What Do We Mean By Stigma Free Pakistan – Part 2

In Pakistan, the stigma surrounding mental health is a very complicated issue which is inter-woven with many other social issues that plague our society. The issue with acknowledging our mental health problems is very closely tied with the traditions and sub-cultures within Pakistan. Factors such as patriarchy and religious beliefs also play a role in associating shame with psychological instability. Due to these social beliefs and other complexities those struggling with mental health problems suffer in silence.

Many people in Pakistan either don’t have access to a mental health professional or are not aware that such a facility exists let alone that they should consult a psychologist. Sometimes we feel that it is easier to hide their symptoms and isolate ourselves. Sometimes we don’t find courage to speak out about our problems. Seeking help becomes more difficult. We have been taught not to take up too much space. We have been taught to not be too loud and attract attention towards ourselves. When we don’t share our issues with anyone finding a solution for them becomes virtually impossible.

Very often when we share our problems others may advise us to pray namaz more regularly and ask God to ease our pain. And they mean well when they say this. And for many people turning to the Almighty for help in difficult times has been the best solution. But, perhaps we can combine our prayers with other forms of help. In addition to dua we can also consult a psychologist and go to therapy sessions and take our prescribed medication. God says that He helps those who help themselves. And it is possible to take both approaches side by side.

Part of being a helpful and empathetic human being is to recognize that every solution does not work for everyone. So maybe some people may not find praying as effective as others. We should try to figure out what works for us. Let’s not judge people on whether they go to the masjid or the therapy clinic for help, everyone is leading their own journey. All we can do is help each other find their way.

In Pakistan, we need to approach mental illnesses with a more scientific approach. What we need to understand is that mental illnesses are often times due to chemical imbalances in our brains.

Here at Madadgaar, we are trying to play our part to help reduce this stigma. We dream of Stigma Free Pakistan. As that will lead to a society where it is easier to seek out help and get access to mental health facilities. At the same time it is very important to do everything we can at an individual level to remove this stigma.

We should talk about our own struggles and the hardships of those around us in order to rule out misconceptions attached with mental health. We need to acknowledge mental disorders the way we do physical disorders.  We should not continue to suffer only because social pressure makes us unwilling to accept our own realities. Let’s embrace our true selves.

There is no shame in talking about mental health issues and seeking help.

Madadgaar is a safe space where you can seek help without any judgement. Your confidentiality and well-being are our top priorities.

In Pakistani culture having mental illness is considered to be a weakness. Instead of solving this riddle people believe that we should just ‘get over it’. Often people feel alone in this struggle and that they have to overcome this obstacle on their own. No one wants negative labels attached to them. In many cases people don’t even deal with mental trauma. They just sweep it under the rug and hope that it will be gone and forgotten. When we don’t find solutions to our problems; we let it grow. Pushing our demons in the dark only make their shadows seem scarier. It is only when we turn on the light and try to face our seemingly huge monsters do we discover, that maybe they aren’t undefeatable at all. Maybe we are stronger than we think.

What Do We Mean By ‘Stigma Free Pakistan’

Fatima’s ami looks at her with disappointment in her eyes. Why is this child so difficult? Ya Khudaya what have I done to deserve such a disobedient child? She talks sternly while waving her finger at her daughter; “Never embarrass me like that in front of the guests ever again? How can you start behaving in such a manner in front of everyone? LOG KIA KAHEN GE! Ke Mia Saab ki beti pagal hai? ” Faima tries to hold in her tears. The person who was supposed to be always be there for her and support her turned out to be the very person who was blaming her for something that she had no control over.

“You were once the sports star of the family! What has happened to you?  Don’t come back into the lounge until you decide to grow up!” With that last warning her mother plastered on a fake smile and walked towards her equally superficial guests.

Fatima was suddenly transported back to a simpler time. When she played sports and games with her friends in school. She broke her arm a few years ago while playing cricket. No one told her to stop over reacting then. No one told her to stop crying then.

In fact, her parents took her to see a doctor and she received pain medication afterwards. Her mother told all her friends and relatives about the incident. People brought her get well soon gifts and flowers. This is our society’s concern towards our physical ailments.

But what about now? Her mother was ashamed. Her family was trying to hide her issues. We are more concerned with what people would think about us than we are about the well-being of our children and loved ones. There is stigma attached to mental health problems and an over- powering taboo tied with the social pressure to act ‘normal’.

Have we ever stopped to think that our culturally enforced belief of what is ‘normal’ may not be accurate? Sometimes our minds suppress memories or react disproportionately to triggering events because that is what our brain has evolved to do. And that’s perfectly fine – its ‘normal’.

Societal stigma feeds off of the shame, disproval, disgrace and guilt that we force upon ourselves and others when we don’t act a certain way. We can’t take our entire muhala with us to the grave; so maybe we can work on building some healthy boundaries in this life. This is not to say that we as Pakistanis should not be grateful for our close-knit family systems. We are fortunate to be surrounded by people that love us. When our families are sympathetic and understanding they can provide an amazing support structure.

Sadly, this is not always the case. The society we are living in often teaches us to feel that our personality flaws are disrespectful and our inability to cope up with certain social scenarios is disgrace to family and all the people associated to us.

People stay quiet about what they really feel and what they want to communicate. Stigma eventually has given birth to further issues like discrimination, prejudice and stereotyping. Sometimes people feel free to make judgments without being fully aware of the facts of the situation. And sometimes we speak up and share things with our loved ones but are scared that they would use our real insecurities and complexes against us. Or perhaps they simply wouldn’t understand.

So when we talk about a Stigma Free Pakistan we envision a society where Fatima can say something inappropriate in front of the guests and be forgiven. Instead of scolding her; her ami can show concern for her and ask her what’s wrong. A society where people don’t decide their entire self-worth based on the merciless judgement of others. Where Fatima and so many people like her, in spite of their caste, color, socio-economic status, gender and sexuality; can truly be themselves and openly seek help for their problems. A society where everyone is truly a madadgaar.

What It Means To Be A Madadgaar

When we imagined what the Pakistani society would look like in the future we hoped for a community in which people could ask for and offer help without any judgement. A society in which people can talk about their troubled past and their turbulent journeys without fear. Children could openly and freely discuss their mental health problems with their parents and teachers and trust that no one will ridicule them. And people could seek help and assured that their confidentiality won’t be broken. We envision a society in which Pakistanis understand the importance of mental health. And where going to a mental health professional or therapist is not seen as a sign of weakness or a cause for shame but as a necessary regular occurrence.

With mental health issues being so widespread in the population, it is extremely important to raise awareness, support those around you that are suffering from a mental health problems, and to seek help if you feel you are suffering from any form of mental illness or mental health problem.

We aim to create awareness and provide education about mental health in order to decrease the taboo surrounding it and build acceptance. We believe that most of the resources and content related to mental health online is predominantly Western. Most of the psychological research that we come across has also been conducted in the West and so their findings may not be applicable to our society.

Our organization aims to create a narrative of mental health that is solely Pakistani.

We want to own our mental health struggles.

They are nothing to be ashamed of.

So yes, your phupo’s cousin’s maami might judge you for owning your narrative and taling about your mental health. But the moment we stop caring about the negative judgement of others we will be free to help ourselves and others.

What We Do

Madadgaar conducts workshops, seminars, talks and support groups regarding different areas of mental health. We can also help you get in touch with a therapist in your area so you can find someone whose wavelength matches with yours. Browse this blog for information regarding a variety of topics regarding mental health for e.g. personality development. The stages of personality development and features to lead a happy life will be discussed in it. There will also be a sound debate about nature and nurture regarding personality development. This blog is meant for people who want to discover their selves and understand their unconscious world while keeping their originality intact.

When we imagined what the Pakistani society would look like in the future we hoped for a community in which people could ask for and offer help without any judgement. A society in which people can talk about their troubled past and their turbulent journeys without fear. Children could openly and freely discuss their mental health problems with their parents and teachers and trust that no one will ridicule them. And people could seek help and assured that their confidentiality won’t be broken. We envision a society in which Pakistanis understand the importance of mental health. And where going to a mental health professional or therapist is not seen as a sign of weakness or a cause for shame but as a necessary regular occurrence.

With mental health issues being so widespread in the population, it is extremely important to raise awareness, support those around you that are suffering from a mental health problems, and to seek help if you feel you are suffering from any form of mental illness or mental health problem.

We aim to create awareness and provide education about mental health in order to decrease the taboo surrounding it and build acceptance. We believe that most of the resources and content related to mental health online is predominantly Western. Most of the psychological research that we come across has also been conducted in the West and so their findings may not be applicable to our society.

Our organization aims to create a narrative of mental health that is solely Pakistani.

We want to own our mental health struggles.

They are nothing to be ashamed of.

So yes, your phupo’s cousin’s maami might judge you for owning your narrative and talking about your mental health. But the moment we stop caring about the negative judgement of others we will be free to help ourselves and others.

What We Do

Madadgaar conducts workshops, seminars, talks and support groups regarding different areas of mental health. We can also help you get in touch with a therapist in your area so you can find someone whose wavelength matches with yours. Browse this blog for information regarding a variety of topics regarding mental health for e.g. personality development. The stages of personality development and features to lead a happy life will be discussed in it. There will also be a sound debate about nature and nurture regarding personality development. This blog is meant for people who want to discover their selves and understand their unconscious world while keeping their originality intact.

Madadgaar conducts workshops, seminars, talks and support groups regarding different areas of mental health. We can also help you get in touch with a therapist in your area so you can find someone whose wavelength matches with yours. Browse this blog for information regarding a variety of topics regarding mental health for e.g. personality development. The stages of personality development and features to lead a happy life will be discussed in it. There will also be a sound debate about nature and nurture regarding personality development. This blog is meant for people who want to discover their selves and understand their unconscious world while keeping their originality intact.